Guess Who's Back!

Hello, hello. It's me. Little Miss.Cori. Stressed, Tired, and looking for change. Man it's been a stressful few weeks lately. I'm trying not to give up hope, but it gets pretty frustrating. I found out recently my uncle has been hospitalized. Somethings wrong with his heart, their not sure what. I'm praying he's OK, and I ask all my friends to do the same. Other than that there's been a bit of good news. I have a job interview on Monday! Those who may not know, I had a job that only lasted two days! lol. It was a temp job supposedly lasting two weeks but boy that got me cause on the second day they said nope it's only two, so long! But yeayah! I'm going to have to work harder than ever before, I've been wasting so much time in my life and if I really want to succeed in anything I have to work for it. So from this day on it's a new me. I've gained some access weight I don't need for starters. Ugh! So my goal is to lose 10 pounds before November! Also when I get this job (I'm claiming it as mine right now!) I'm going to save up to get my car!! Yes I'm done with the Cota bus baby! lol. I'm about to do what needs to be done, to get what I deserve. Everyone deserves happiness, it's when you don't receive it that troubles begin. So with that being said, God give me the strength to keep it moving, I'm done using family, friends, past and current problems as a crutch. I will no longer let my opportunity's pass me by for the sake of others. I will never get anywhere by living for others. I can still help out when I can but no more times will I put everyone over myself. You get taken advantage of extremely easy when you do this. I am as important as anyone in my life. I deserve self love & respect. People may call me fake, funny acting or whatever may come to mind. But just call me brand new cause that's exactly how it's gonna be! lol. I want to be happy. I want to exceed any boundaries that anyone may may have. I want to teach, I want to learn. I want to be selfish for once. I will earn the things I want. I'm not looking for hand outs. I will be successful no matter how much people think otherwise. They're wrong. It is never to late. I matter. I am important. never forget. You are the only person that can hold you back from accomplishing your dreams, goals, you're life. Reach for the moon, Because even if you miss, you'll land *among the [[s t a r s z]].x.

Venting.

If there was one thing I could name that irritates me most besides being lied to, I would have to say being underestimated. I have been underestimated for as longs as I can remember. I don't feel like anyone can honestly believe in me as much as I believe In myself. I've been through so much and people would be surprised if the knew what goes on in my mind. Telling you still wouldn't make you understand 100%. The only way someone could understand is if they actually have gone through the same thing. I've gotten so use to underestimation that I expect it from everyone I meet now. It hurts to know people put a limit on what they think you can do. And yeah most people will say "Well I'll just prove them all wrong". But the truth is it gets tiring and quite nerve racking. Especially when it turns out I usually know what I'm talking about, yet I get no sort of credit. It goes right back out their head and it's back to the same ol' crap. I am struggling to find the person I once was. Hidden within the very depths of my soul. Too insecure to come back out, to shine, to be heard. I've become someone I don't know anymore. I've let it get to me so much that I've started underestimating myself. All the god given talents I was born with, I second guess myself, I give up easily. I'm afraid to even take risks anymore. I don't trust in myself and it hurts to know it's so hard to stop. I feel lost in myself. My mind is full of anxiety and stress. It's like a hopeless feeling. That's how i feel right now, like i don't know. I getting hungry I'll write more later.
To be continued.....